blair and maisy: Bedtime stalling, I mean stories

June 17, 2008

Bedtime stalling, I mean stories

Xander seems to share a lot of random thoughts to me right before bed. You know- trying to talk about anything and everything just to keep someone in the room? I should just start setting up a video camera for him to talk to, because I'm sure it would be good for endless laughs.

Here's some examples which are fairly typical of how it usually goes as I'm about to walk out the door. Sometimes I get an excuse, sometimes it's questions to spark a conversation, or last night I even got a story.

1. Some recent excuses:

-I'm scared of the dark now
-I think there might be a bear in my closet
-I'm not scared of monsters, but "lamb" is

i.e. "lamb" is his stuffed lamb- go figure

2. Here's an example of his questions to lead to conversation, from day before yesterday:

Xander: Why did you say "no harm" in that prayer?
Me: No harm means: No bad things. I don't want bad things to happen to us.
Xander: You don't want any bats here?
Me: I don't want BAD things. I said I don't want bad things.
Xander: Bats are bad. We don't want any bats- no bats- any bats here inside this house. They're bad in this house. What do bats eat?
Me: I think usually flying bugs, like gnats.
Xander: What are gnats?
Me: They're like little flies
Xander: Well frogs eat flies too. They just reach their tongues up high and the fly just sticks on. Yep. So, what color do frogs poop?
Me: I don't know.
Xander: I think yellow. No- green, because they're green... but birds poo is white, isn't it?
Me: Yep, you're right about birds, but I don't know about the frogs. Good night Xander.
Xander: Well, can you tell me about that pillow?

3. Last night Xander told me he had a story he needed to tell me. It went something like this:

A bad monster was trying to get someone, so a superhero flew off with his magic flying cape to a faraway land. The monster ate the guy, but he didn't

chomp him down, he just gulped him , so the superhero reached down and and got him back out.

Well the guy was a beast, but a witch made him to be a nice beast. A girl fell in love with him, and there was a walking couch, and it could talk, and they lived happily ever after...

Until a dragon came and tried to get them, and he was breathing fire to them. So a prince got the superhero to come and help him get the fire out. The prince and the superhero poured water on the fire, to get the fire out.

Then a pirate with a booming gun came to get the dragon, and he got it... and they lived happily ever after. The End.

The funnies

Will 12/14 " Mom can you please pour the milk for me because it’s almost full, and there’s a 65% chance that I’ll spill it."

11/14 Me: Why did you dump out all the toys?

Claire: Because I was trying to find something to play with

Me: What did you find?

Claire: The glow in the dark dinosaur

Me: Then why didn’t you put the other toys back?

Claire: Because I had to use the bathroom, so I just runned.

Claire 11/14 "Mom I can’t find any of my jammies, so should I bring you the sew kit so you can sew me some?"

Claire 11/14 "What do these constructions say?"

11/14 Claire: Mom Can I have this?

Me: Sure

Claire: Yes!!! Mom, thanks for asking me!

Claire 11/14 "Oh my Geez"

Claire 11/14 "I had a great dream last night. I got to see Dixie, and eat shrimp!"

Claire 11/14 "Our scarecrow fell over, but we’ll still be able to find our house because you know the numbers!"

Will 11/14 "The only good thing that happened to me today, was that Kord gave me a penny. But then I lost it."

Claire 9/13 "I love polka-dot butterflies."

Claire 9/13 " This pencil needs to get sharpt. Can I sharpt this pencil in myself?"

Claire 9/13 after pulling a piece of tape off of something successfully, "I am a great job."

Claire 8/13 "One time a dog pooped on the grass."

Me, "Why are you telling me that?"

Claire, "Because it was weally gross, PU!"

Claire 8/13 I walked in and exclaimed what a mess it was. "I didn't got that out," said Claire pointing at one little thing.

Claire 10/12 "Ehhhhh he he, ehhh he he."

Gaurd at the Airforce gate, "That sounds like a fake cry."

Me, "Yep."

Claire, "Ehhh he he, ehhh he he. It NOT a fake cwy."

Will 10/12 "Mom, could I miss school on Wednesday, because they're going to learn something really hard like minus?"

Me, "Well what would you do the next day when they were still learning more about that?"

Will, "No mom, we don't have to make up the homework when we miss."

Claire 10/12 "You not funny Will."

Claire 10/12 (almost in tears with the saddest little voice because she wanted all of the toys) "Mommy, brothers not sharing a me."

Claire 10/12 chasing her brothers around slowly with her arms outstretched says, "Bwains, bwains, bwains!" just like a real zombie.

Will 10/12 "Xander is white, and I'm white, and mom's white and Claire is white and dad's a little white."

Will 3/12 "Dad and I are getting gooder at disc golf."

Xander 3/12 seeing frozen peas in his drink that had spilled into the icebox, "Mom, there are green cotton balls in my drink."

Will 12/11 "I know something that's not a word: spit-buggar."

Claire 12/11 "Ha ha, fuh-ee (funny)"

Will 12/11 after he broke a plastic fork, "I would like to put it in recycling because that saves the world."

Will 11/11 as he rubs the carpet, "I like this house because it's hairier than the other one."

Will 9/11 "Mom, could you call my nickname 'shark' please?"

Will 9/11 in a prayer while Blair was away for a month, "Bless that we would ever see dad again, and if we drive there it wouldn't be too long."

Will 3/11 after I asked him how primary was, he said, "I was the 1st kid in class. I thought I was going to have to taught myself."

Will 3/11 "Mom, is today fast Sunday."

Me "What is fast Sunday Will?"

Will, "When we eat really fast."

Will 3/11 "Xander is saying mean things, like that I'm not the leader."

Blair told Will to go to the bathroom with him while we were out somewhere and he was doing the potty dance 3/11, "Hey I had to go to the bathroom too!"